Married women must be wary of the so called, ‘designer friends’. They are women who put indescribable pressure on other women through their incessant egging to wear designer products. The growing social trend in our fashion world today burdens most women to want to wear designer products; designer shoes, designer bags, designer dress, designer perfume, designer makeup and branded phones. In the age of internet online shopping and social media expression, it is very difficult not to be sucked into this social behaviour. Designer adverts are always in your face and the women in these ads often look extremely glamourous and happy. Please who don’t want to look glamourous and happy. Experience tells me that, most men will turn their neck 360 degrees to admire happy and glamourous girl even when they are with their significant other. Women, we all know that hurts, when your husband’s attention is diverted to that ‘ugly’ ‘Adanna’ who you have seen without makeup in the market simply because she is well packaged today.
For the sake of those who will query me, I have nothing against designer products, in-fact, I am using a good few of them. Those close to me know that I love fashion, but the difference is that I could afford what I am using right now and the ones above my pay grade, I totally do, ‘eyes right’ with an imaginary salute hand like a school captain on a marching competition. Again, I don’t judge my friends who don’t wear designer’s products, I don’t put pressure on them to acquire what they cannot afford. Although I acknowledge that our society tend to judge others by their appearance and how wealthy they look. I have been a victim myself, people judging me while I went home for holiday in Nigeria. I overheard a lady whispering to the other, ‘Did you say this one dressed like this is from abroad?’ Of course, I did not respond, I walked away with dignity. I am quite aware of my fashion sense; once I am dressed properly for the weather, occasion and the category of people that I am meeting, I don’t feel insecure with a mean girl’s remarks. Also, I didn’t go to Nigeria for a fashion parade. But wait, this is not only a Nigerian problem, it is everywhere including where I live. For example, I was acquainted to a designer friend many years ago, she was always ‘on point’ and can spot anything designer from an eyes’ length. Her common phrase was,
‘Maria, did you see the shoe that woman is wearing, it is a designer shoe, choi, she is stepping up her games, I don’t blame her, the struggle is real.’ She mentioned this phrase quite often that I decided to ask her one day,
‘Nne, what struggle are you talking about?’
That day, she opened my eyes to this world of designer friends, the intense competition of who dresses more expensive and glamourous. She showed me a social world where power dynamic is based on influence simply by the way you dress and not what is in your brain or account. A world where jealousy is a motivational factor for dressing and is all centred around, ‘keeping my man’ or attracting the alpha man. Hmmm, my legs were shaking that day, it was that day I realised how naïve I amWomen must be wary of these designer friends. The repercussion of trying to be someone else to belong to certain group of socialites can be damaging to your marriage or relationship. If you cannot afford designer, dress in your own level. After all, there is a common adage that says, ‘Cut your coat according to your size.’ If necessary, cut off link with designer friends before they sent you to early grave.
Enough is enough! If you can’t afford designer products, please be content with what you have. Don’t pressure your significant others to buy you one. Be kind to yourself and others. Life is tough as it is to be making our lives miserable because we want to be packaged in designer products!
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Picture credit: Google Image- Christian L. Shoes