‘Relationships especially marriage is hard work’

Love, what is love? I am in the opinion that it means different things to people. No one really knows, that is because a room full of people will give you various version or account of what love means to them. Sometimes I wonder if we can apply the story of the nine blind men describing an elephant, each from his own body part to the understanding love? Each blind man described correctly a body part of an Elephant, for example, the tusks or the legs and stated that the whole elephant is a tusk. Etc. Can we say that every version of love account is bit of a description of love; say we likened love to the elephant in the story and humans as the blind men?

I have my own version of love; for me mostly, love is self-giving, making painful sacrifices and being loyal. To some, my version of love is stupidity but again, I did not appreciate their own version. I find them very strange. However, when I take a step back, deep down in my reflection, I know it makes meaning to them. What matters is finding your own kind of ‘madness’ and sometimes, you find it in unusual person or places.

I have witnessed toxic relationship and gasped at how women or men persevere in it. Ofcourse every relationship have it own challenges but sticking arround in a relationship that destroy one mentally, spiritually and psychologically is suicide. Some individuals stay in bad relationship because of how their partners make them feel during the good times but ignore the negative feeling that is detrimental to their health. Some call it persevering but this is ridiculous.

Any relationship irrespective of the sex of the partner can be remedied if both partners are willing to forgive and work on their differences. No marriage is perfect, even among the best perfect couples in high places. However, dealing with these differences can be demanding and sometimes, we need to rely on our social network or professional for advice. The worst step to take is to confide in immature or inexperienced people; these people can do more damage to your marriage by giving you wrong advices or spreading your marital issues with haters. One must be careful who to run to during the time of vulnerability.

After living in the society for almost four decades, I now understand that every action have an effect. Also people hold different opinions about the same thing. Follow the one that works for you. Ofcourse, if you are like me with my belief in loving, you are most likely to be abused by people who like to take advantage of your personality.

Loving another person is a beautiful but it is also difficult in that it require consistent efforts to keep things together. If conflict arises in your relationship and your partner is happy to work with you to resolve it, then it would be worth it but if you have a partner who is uncompromising, you will get to the stage where you no longer feel loved. Perhaps, in times like this, when it is certain that each of you want different things and unwilling to compromise, then it is time to go your separate ways.

However, at the end of the day, the choice is yours! You know where the shoe pinches. You know your reality more than others hence, it is up to you, it is you who will decide what you want with your live. I am in the opinion that if you feel safe and not in danger, you can still make your relationship work but first, you must learn to work and to find a centre where both of you will be happy.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s